12 Days of Unconventional Christmas
By Madison D’Angelo
December 17th, 2014
Christmas time is and always has been full of tradition. But sometimes, repeating the exact same things year after year and generation after generation can get a little monotonous, especially now that we are taking a step into the modern world where not many people’s beliefs are “traditional”. Here are twelve things you should do this Christmas to ‘spice up’ old traditions.
On the first day of Christmas….
Spice up your family Christmas card. Instead of wearing red and smiling around a pleasant holiday background, try sticking to a theme or having everyone wear costumes. Remember, the more awkward, the better.
On the second day of Christmas…
Reimagine your Christmas tree. Why do they all have to look the same? You could save a lot of money by switching from fancy glass ornaments to household items like CDs or pasta. Or, replace the evergreen tree with something new all together.
On the third day of Christmas…
Hang mistletoe on your front door, and be sure to kiss EVERYONE that walks under it. This includes the mailman, Christmas carollers and door to door salesmen.
On the fourth day of Christmas…
Decide to make a gingerbread house, and then don’t. Not all gingerbread men are in the position to afford a house. You’re going to build an entire house for a cookie, but when’s the last time you helped the homeless in your town? Think about how selfish you were being on the way to donate at your local shelter.
On the fifth day of Christmas…
Throw out all of your classic Christmas CDs (you were probably sick of them by the fifth day anyways). Take a step out of the 18th century and listen to some non-traditional Christmas music.
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On the sixth day of Christmas…
Disregard every time you’ve told your children to not take candy from strangers. This is the time of year to take lots of candy from lots of strangers. Men dressed up at the mall, people who throw candy during parades, groups of people who sing on your property without permission, and from every school, church or store that you enter.
On the seventh day of Christmas…
Nativity scenes are a great way for some people to keep the meaning of Christmas in their decorations. This year, ditch the traditional nativity scene for something recycled, and more relatable.
On the eighth day of Christmas…
Take a feminist approach when playing outside this year and make snow-women. Snowmen alone are just too bigoted. While you’re at it, make sure your snow woman has the right proportions because you don’t want any young girls getting unrealistic body image.
On the ninth day of Christmas…
Watch a non-traditional Christmas movie. How many times have you seen Miracle on 34th Street, or It’s a Wonderful Life? Do you almost know The Grinch off by heart? It’s time for some unconventional Christmas movies, including Silent Night, Deadly Night, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (voted 84th worst film in history!), and everyone’s favourite: Die Hard.
On the tenth day of Christmas…
Pick something your children (or spouse) did this year that they shouldn’t have, and actually put coal in their stocking! It seems like this has never actually happened to someone despite all of the false threats instilled into our minds from childhood. But just because Santa is forgiving doesn’t mean you have to be! For a nice touch, place it in a tupperware and wrap it. You can even attach a note explaining why they got it.
On the eleventh day of Christmas…
Prepare gifts unconventionally. Not only can it save you money, but it adds a very unique and personal touch. Make your own cards by drawing or cut and paste, or switch up your wrapping by using newspaper or fabric.
On the twelfth day of Christmas…
Since we have now entered an era where some ‘humans’ believe it is a good idea to stray from the natural diet of an omnivore that has lead us to survive around 200,000 years, why not get with the times and try a vegan Christmas dinner? Just kidding. Don’t be unconventional here, everyone knows the best part about the food is stuffing your face with animal products like turkey, ham, bacon, eggnog, cheese and flowing rivers of gravy.
But the most important rule of Christmas time is to enjoy every moment of the holidays, no matter how traditional. Enjoy time spent with family and friends, enjoy giving to those you love and to those less fortunate, and enjoy every ounce of meat, you beautiful omnivore.